


Sleeping beauty

by monwonpanda



Series: IRIDESCENT | A Hyungwonho writing challenge [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, College AU, HyungWonho - Freeform, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Shameless Smut, athlete hoseok, but he won't say that, he just misses hoseok, hoseok is drunk, hyungwon is a mess, idk just messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monwonpanda/pseuds/monwonpanda
Summary: second entry for the long distance relationship.His budget is running low thanks to all the coffee runs. He really should have taken up his boyfriend's offer of teaching him how to use their 'premium' coffee machine."But why bother when I have you to do it for me?" he had so confidently remarked.That hadn't worked out well for him.smut is chapter 2 and quite short. also HOSEOK IS NOT DEAD.(my sister read and thought he was, well he isn't)





	1. The art of escapism requires caffeine

 

Some days were better than others. Some days he could cope.

 

Today wasn't one of those days.

 

Hyungwon's sleep breaks a little after four am. Not the slightest of sounds to be heard in his apartment.

 

Their apartment.

 

Inhaling deeply, he curls into a ball. His hand wanders the vacant spot next to him and by some miracle, he expects to find some kind of warmth. Of course, there's nothing of that sort because his boyfriend is miles away.

 

Leaving him here.

 

Still, his hand instinctively lingers in favour of finding smooth muscle and silky hair. He shouldn't be disappointed when he doesn't but he is. He's disappointed and he's frustrated. His chest feels tight and he can't stop the feeling of yearning wash over him.

 

How did he become this way?

 

He's always been comfortable with his own company. Hell, that's one of the reasons he chose to study philosophy. He liked the control environment; the flitting from class to the library and back to the warmth of his bed. It made him feel safe and didn't require too much exertion. Hyungwon kept everything to a minimal, only letting his mind wander into the depths of his books and then back to the safety of sleep.

 

That's until he met him.

 

This use to be his favourite past time, sleeping and rolling himself into a blanket cocoon, and now it almost hurts. The frustration hurts, the loneliness hurts, the lack of sleep hurts. There's no warmth for him to cuddle into, there's no soft breathing to fill the air, there's no silky hair to run his fingers through and he doesn't think he can stay in bed if this is all he can think about.

 

It hurts to lose his last haven, his relationship with his bed in tatters. He's almost ashamed of himself for letting this happen.

 

 

and it's all his fault.

 

 

"God damn you Shin Hoseok,"

 

-

 

"You look like shit," Kihyun helpfully points.

 

"I feel like shit," Hyungwon has to agree.

 

He probably looks terrible. The mornings is generally the time to capitalises on sleep, seeing as he had almost no classes till ten. Nights were spent in the library. Well, most nights when Hoseok isn't whining for his attention.

 

He misses that whining now.

 

"Couldn't sleep?" Kihyun speaks asks as he eyes the lanky figure.

 

Hyungwon just nods his head.

 

They're heading in the same direction but to different classes. Kihyun is studying to become a teacher. Hyungwon doesn't understand why because the last thing he takes Kihyun for is child-friendly.

 

The silence lingers and Hyungwon groans as he can feel the urge to reminisce tug at his sleeve.

 

_Not now._

 

Somewhere along the way, Kihyun branches off but Hyungwon is too lost in his thoughts to notice. He thinks back to just how shit his morning had been. Hoseok isn't there to make him coffee or to coax him to having some sort of breakfast and by the time midday arrives, he's almost starving. His budget is running low thanks to all the coffee runs. He really should have taken up his boyfriend's offer of teaching him how to use their 'premium' coffee machine.

 

"But why bother when I have you to do it for me?" he had so confidently remarked.

 

That hadn't worked out well for him.

 

Now, Hyungwon went through the day like a zombie only fuelled with an americano that tasted like shit compared to the coffee prepared by his boyfriend.

 

And he had to pay for this shit!

 

 

-

 

It pisses him off.

 

It pisses him off so bad that he completely lets his lecture go over his head. Zero attention is paid, ZERO.

 

"Chae!" the lecturer reprimands him for the fifth time.

 

Hyungwon only manages to look at the bald teacher lazily. His eyes barely focusing for a minute before he glances out the window again.

 

He thinks the day looks unusually dull.

 

-

 

The evening approaches and he knows he will be losing this battle. It was just too tiring. It took too much energy to avoid himself. He doesn't know why, though. He knows his mind won't let him sleep till he faces his fears or at least admits to it.

 

Still, Hyungwon wouldn't because he is Hyungwon and he's not good at facing himself. Not when he doesn't care to see himself this way. Not when he was trying so hard to stay positive.

 

So, he will be avoiding it for as long as he can.

 

-

 

He visits another cafe, one that Hoseok didn't introduce him to. One that his friend works at.

 

"This is rare," Jooheon comments as he slides a cup of coffee onto the table.

 

"Aren't you going to say how terrible I look?" Hyungwon mutters.

 

He laughs,"I would but I think that's the least of you problems."

 

Ah, Hyungwon has to agree.

 

"Hyung, I don't how to do this stuff but fuck. If you wanna talk, I'm here. Bye."

 

The lanky boys smile in amusement as the flustered Jooheon whizzes away.

 

The redhaired rapper was all charisma and swag on the outside but Hyungwon knew Jooheon was a gentle soul.

 

The student blows on the hot liquid, he can at least count on Jooheon to make good coffee.

 

and yet it still tastes like shit.

 

In Jooheon's defence, any coffee that wasn't Hoseok's was going to taste like shit.

 

Hours later

 

"Hyung,"

 

Hyungwon looks up from a book he wasn't really reading. He tried to but it turned to be more of a game to see just how long he could go until he caved and started reading through some of Hoseok's old text messages.

 

He is not proud of himself.

 

Sliding into the seat, Jooheon is now wearing a baseball jacket and jeans with a bag slung messily on his side.

 

"You're closing, is it that late?" Hyungwon questions.

 

Just how lost was he in his misery?

 

"Nah, nothing like that Hyung," the rapper chuckles," but it's pretty late. You should go home."

 

Hyungwon doesn't miss the tone of concern but Jooheon plays it off with a grin.

 

 _He probably doesn't want to leave me here._ "It's cool, you can head home. I was going to leave at the end of this chapter anyway."

 

Jooheon's dimples deepen but his voice is firm," Hyung, I'm not blind. I know you not reading the book. You're been basically just staring at the page for like the last hour."

 

 _Shit, he caught me out_. "I have no defence." _more like I have no energy to defend myself._

 

Tugging at his bag, the rapper sighs, "I know you miss Hoseok hyung, even if you say you're okay. We know you're not. Go home hyung, you need to rest,"

 

 _But_ , "I can't" Hyungwon finally admits, his eyes settling on the table.

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because," the lanky student exasperatedly sighs before he brushes his hair back, "It reminds me of him."

 

It takes a while to sink but Jooheon eventually understands,"Oh."

 

He shouldn't tell his dongsaeng this, "Everything reminds me of him. I can't sleep because he's not there, I can't eat because I don't want to eat alone, I can't watch our series because it's OUR series and I don't wanna go ahead. I can’t sleep Jooheon. Can you believe that? Me, Chae Hyungwon, cannot fall asleep?"

 

The air of despair falls around them, it even manages to wipe away the rapper's smile. Hyungwon doesn't understand why he felt the need to share, not like talking about it would change anything. No, it just adds to Jooheon's concern and Hyungwon's misery. He doesn't need his friend's pity.

 

But, this time, he appreciates it.

 

"How did I become like this?" Hyungwon is embarrassed by the whole ordeal, he really thought he would be dealing with things better. He’s used every excuse in the book to avoid his friend’s concern but he may not have that choice anymore. Things have become too heavy and he can’t carry it all with a smile.

 

"Listen Jooh-"

 

"Let's go," the red haired cuts him off.

 

"Huh," the other is puzzled but Jooheon is on his feet and signals him to follow.

 

"Let's go, hyung," Jooheon  says," You want to sleep, am I right?"

 

"Absolutely," Hyungwon agrees in a flash.

 

"Then I have a sure way to get you there," the rapper smirks but Hyungwon follows anyway.

 

He would give anything for a decent night's sleep, unless it was Hoseok coming back home because no sleep could be beat sleeping with his boyfriend.

 

-

 

That's how the duo ends up here, in a random bar not far off of from campus. The lighting is cheap and the music is annoying as fuck but right now, everything is annoying as fuck to Hyungwon.

 

"You know, you're the dongsaeng. You should pour the drinks," His face is puffy and red but words still formulate.

 

Jooheon just laughs as he grins, "But I'll spill again."

 

Hyungwon doesn't know how just how effective Jooheon's idea is but he wasn't about to go back to his very empty apartment. One by one, they knock back a cheap brand of soju. It's horrible but Jooheon argues that cheap alcohol gets you drunk faster. Hyungwon soon understands the goal is to drink himself silly and pass out peacefully.

 

It's not a too bad idea. _Why didn't he think of it?_

 

_Oh yeah, I'm broke from buying shit coffee._

 

It won't take long. Hyungwon rarely drinks, just a few sips from Hoseok.

 

Hoseok

 

Hoseok

 

"You should just phone him," Jooheon interrupts.

 

"I know," I should but what if he's busy.

 

The wooden bench is not so comfortable but Hyungwon's body unwinds nicely. The alcohol numbs his limbs and he doubts he can walk properly.

 

Oh well, he can bambi tonight.

 

The mind calms but doesn't stop. Not even when he and Jooheon burst into laughter over a past event including a drunk Kihyun sending some dude a dick pic.

 

"OH MY GAWD, he was mortified," Jooheon states between his laughter.

 

True enough, the midget was horrified but luckily the dude never texted back.

 

People pass by, a few try to approach but Hyungwon waves them off nonchalantly. The last thing he needs now is some stranger trying to be cute. It doesn't help that most of them are young chicks in terribly tight but gawd awful bandage dresses. This place really doesn't call for something like that.

 

This place seems designated for wavering souls. A mix of students who can't afford to drink but do so anyway, youngsters that got their hearts broken and the rest are just drinking in an attempt to reach tomorrow faster.

 

Hyungwon understands it well enough, he too was hoping that he would wake up feeling better.

 

"Jooheon,"Hyungwon blames the alcohol for this, "What do you think of Hoseok and me?"

 

The question catches the younger off guard but he recovers quickly enough. He expected something like this and he was prepared to comfort his friends. He loved Hyungwon or so his intoxicated brain said so.

 

"I thought you'rll were so weird at first. Like c'mon, Hoseok gives such fuck boy vibes. He and his entire crew,"

 

Hyungwon immediately laughs. He has to agree, Hoseok had a certain air to him, you either loved him or hated him. The constant company of athletes that surrounded him didn't make it any better.

 

"But he always looked so whipped for you," Jooheon confesses, he's seen it on more than one occasion.

 

Hoseok lavishes Hyungwon with his undivided attention. He always treats the lanky boy so gently, like Hyungwon's made out of glass and Hoseok would die if he cracked him. It's unsettling for someone at their age but Jooheon found it...comforting. They fitted.

 

"Does he?" Hyungwon ponders out loud as he takes a swig directly from the bottle.

 

The effects are wearing off and he needs to up his game. The music takes the backseat and once again all Hyungwon can hear is his own thoughts. Not so very nice thoughts.

 

"Why?"

 

Sober Hyungwon would never admit this but he had an excuse now, alcohol had the ability to rid the victim of the blame of their own words, "I'm scared he'll meet someone amazing and he'll realise how lame I am."

 

Yes, this it, this is the big one.

 

"I'm scared I won't be enough," The words die out.

 

Jooheon just stares into space but he's listening," But he wants you, he's wanted nothing but you for like the last two years."

 

"But," Hyungwon leans forward as he raises his voice, "He's going to be surrounded by all those amazing people, people like him and."

 

_And he won't want me._

 

-

 

It's barely twelve when Hyungwon stumbles into his apartment. His tired uncoordinated body falls into the couch. They drank too much but Jooheon was a greater mess and Hyungwon sobered up as he took the younger home.

 

Still, he dreaded coming back here and yet here he is but where else did he have to go? The memories flood over him with his new founded doubts. He hates feeling like this. He can't believe this is happening. Hoseok treated him like the centre of his universe and yet...

 

_Why am I feeling so threatened?_

 

They never made sense, none what so ever. Hoseok was studying taekwondo at Hanuel sports college. He was loud, attractive and daring but also romantic, sweet and sensitive. A person that socialised effortlessly, always with his crew, always the centre of attention.

 

Hyungwon, in essence, had been the very opposite. Socialising never came easy but his vanity soon became his shield. People liked admiring his model feature and he learnt to manipulate it to his advantage. He could cover up his weaknesses well enough with his air of vanity and love of sarcasm.

 

Hoseok had missed that part because the first time they had 'met', Hyungwon was sound asleep.

 

During his first few days of college, Hyungwon would go to the local library. He preferred it to the college libraries, there was more life here. He could never concentrate properly in silence, there always had to be some background noise(most of the time it was the television).

 

On that particular day, he just so happened to be totally exhausted. He's not sure when but finds himself groggily waking up with his cheek pressed against the pages of a Yann Martel novel. The first thing he feels is warmth and his fingers clutch at the fabric draped on him. It feels nice but the comfort quickly evaporates because he knows damn well that he hadn't been wearing a jacket. Looking around in a daze, the jacket in hand, he spots a cherry and yoghurt cereal bar next to his book. It confuses him, so he turns his attention back to the item in hand. It's white and blue and Hyungwon's eyes instantly gravitate to the lettering on the back.

 

"SHIN"

 

After a week of avoiding the library, Kihyun convinces him that giving the jacket back would be the right thing to do. Even so, Hyungwon doesn't want to face the stranger that had seen him in such a vulnerable state, he's too embarrassed. Another week goes by and the jacket lies on his couch, until Jooheon points out that this shin person might get in trouble for losing his team jacket.

 

Surrendering to some kind of guilt, Hyungwon finds the college soon enough. He doesn't need to find Hoseok because Hoseok finds him

 

"Hey, sleepy beauty"

 

The rest is history and two years later, Hyungwon is drunk on their couch as Hoseok is miles away training for the taekwondo national team.

 

Too many emotions, Hyungwon can't deal with too many at one go. He's just not that type. He's awkward and dysfunctional but proud and independent.

 

"But I miss him so much!" he yells into the cushion.

 

So alcohol wasn't a great idea but too late for that.

 

Tossing away any remaining pride, Hyungwon decides to shed his shell. He basically crawls into the bedroom and heads straight for the closet. It's dark but he doesn't care, he haphazardly tugs at random clothing and everything comes tumbling out onto the floor. The bedside lamp is the source of light. He knows he put here, he's sure of it.

 

Finally, amongst the heap, he spots the shade of blue and a grin fights its way.

 

"Found ya!"

 

On his last day feeling like this, he had conveniently thrown Hoseok's team jacket into the closet. He was passive aggressive like that.

 

Pulling the jacket tightly to his chest, the long-limbed student basically collapses on the bed. It still faintly smells of him, even with the musky smell of the closet.

How time flies?

 

Hyungwon melts underneath the material. It's not so bad anymore, not when he's answering himself rather than avoiding himself. Not when he argues on his own behalf. Argues that it's okay to miss the human that he shared his home with, it's okay because it stands testament to the depth of their relationship. He shouldn't be ashamed of that and he decides he's not. This is normal and as much as he wants to be selfish and shameless, he knows Hoseok needed to do this. So Hyungwon will wait for him right here. It's the last thought that crosses his mind before he drifts off to sleep.

 

-

 

Ow Ow Ow

 

The fuck is that sound?

 

"The fuck," Hyungwon groans as his phone blares.

 

His head is pounding and this horrible acidic taste that’s coating the inside of his mouth but all he can think about is why the fuck is his ring tone red velvet's rookie.

 

'lookie lookie my super lookie lookie'

 

"Yeah yeah ,” He mutters as he digs in his pocket for his phone, his eyes still clamped shut.

 

"What?" he answers coldly as soon as he switches off his damn ringtone.

 

Whoever it was, better make it snappy.

 

"Baaabe," a voice slurs and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who it is.

 

Hyungwon scrambles for words as his eyes fly open.

 

How long has it been since he heard his boyfriend's voice. (Not that long, two weeks at most) Although, he would prefer if the background noise would give way.

 

There's all types of voices and Hoseok struggles to compete. "Babe, I'm drunk and I miss you."

 

It melts Hyungwon's heart, the lanky student rolls over onto his stomach and takes notice of item curled into his chest, "I miss you too."

 

but how exactly was he drunk. The training was intense, so much so Hoseok had basically cried the first week he was there.

 

There's scrambling and laughter and Hoseok yells for them to shut up and something on along the lines of  'I'm speaking with my bae.'

 

He really liked that term; 'bae.' Hyungwon was never fond of it but it makes him smile hearing it after such a long time.

 

There's more shuffling and he waits patiently but someone else comes on the line,"yo, he literally will not shut up about you."

 

The deep voices laughs and another tells him to shut up.

 

Hyungwon feels himself blush, a flower of pride blooming inside. How could he have ever doubted the love of his fluffy bunny.

 

"It's true though babe. I'm missing you like mad here. And now I'm drunk and horny as fuck." Hoseok groans sinfully.

 

A roar laughter breaks out and Hyungwon buries his red face into the blue jacket.

 

"Apparently you give the best head!" the deep voice calls out and Hyungwon's eyes widen.

 

"Babe!" he instantly reprimands his boyfriend in weird squeaky voice. Omg this so embarrassing.

 

"But it's true," Hoseok defends himself casually," I miss those lips, I miss kissing you."

 

Hyungwon is at a loss, he's too busy flustering for words. He was so very happy his boyfriend was indeed still very much in love with him and he was oh very flattered by his boyfriend speaking about but he didn't know how to feel about the things actually said.

 

"Babe," Hoseok sounds so small and cute, Hyungwon could die.

 

"Yes Babe,"he finally finds his voice.

 

There's somewhere shuffling and Hyungwon can immediately pinpoint the deep voice that was previously speaking.

 

"Why don't you phone?"

 

Hyungwon hadn't expected that, not from an intoxicated bunny. He thinks back to the few phone calls they've shared since he left. Most of them were hurried and Hoseok was always called upon. There was always somewhere he had to be or something he had to do and Hyungwon would end the call feeling worse than he did before he phoned. He would wait so long to speak to the elder. It annoyed him and it only annoyed him even further because he knew it was out of Hoseok’s control.

 

"I don't want to bother you," he answers honestly.

 

"Please do," Hoseok stresses and Hyungwon feels the rawness in his voice,"babe, I need to know. I don't want you to forget about us, about me."

 

Oh, "Baby,” Hyungwon feels a knot in his throat but he persists,"I would never do that."

 

It was absurd for Hoseok to think that but then again, Hyungwon had thought the same. It pains him none the less, he never wants his boyfriend to feel like that. Hoseok was softer than candly floss, Hyungwon knew this.

 

"Oh come on, don't cry!" The deep voice blasts through the phone, promptly ending the heartfelt exchange.

 

"Fuck you Matt!" Hoseok yells in annoyance.

 

"One moment you're horny, the next you're crying. What you doing to my homeboy?" the said matt person yells into the phone.

 

Oh, He's talking to me, "Nothing,” Hyungwon answers blankly and Matt laughs obnoxiously.

 

There's more shuffling and cursing with a few more voices laughing.

 

"Babe, hold on." Hoseok finally speaks.

 

Hyungwon rolls onto his back, he feels light headed. Hell, his whole body feels light. The tension springs loose, leaving him boneless and exhausted but happy all the same. The string tied around his heart comes undone and for the first in a long time, Hyungwon feels himself taking in a full breath of air. It's hard to explain but ever since Hoseok had left, an imaginary weight had been placed on his chest. He tried to shrug it off, thinking it would go away in time but it didn't, not till now. He takes in an anther deep breath, his stomach inflating as he does. The cool air refreshes him.

 

The rambling on the phone continues and Hyungwon thinks he hears a car. Voices ae talking over each other and he can't identify his boyfriend or matt.

 

"Baaaaae,"Hoseok whines before laughing, "We're on our way back now."

 

"I see," Hyungwon chuckles.

 

"I showed Matt your picture and he said you had nice lips. I was like yeah, I know, they feel better than they look," Hoseok laughs proudly.

 

Back to embarrassing me again, "Stop speaking so perversely about me."

 

"Ahh,” Hoseok sounds offended, "Why not, you're so good to me. Why shouldn't I brag about it?"

 

Hyungwon has to remind himself that his boyfriend is drunk, "It's just weird."

 

and very uncomfortable.

 

Another much more feminine voice chips in, "Yeah so you can remind us just how sad our lives are."

 

Hyungwon didn't think there would be females here. He would prefer it though, Hoseok was as gay as gay could be.

 

"Aww, Seulgi is jealous," Hoseok snickers,”Don’t worry Matt and I will organise you man,”

 

“Or women?” Matt adds.

 

The banter is playful and Hyungwon is glad Hoseok has company. He wasn’t very enthusiastic when he first got there and it had greatly worried Hyungwon,

Honestly, Hyungwon doesn't have much to say. Nope, that's a lie, he has tonnes but he sometimes struggles with the conveying of emotions and words avoids him.

 

"Hoseok, I really miss you," He says sullenly, he wants to say it on his own, not in return. It brings tears to his eyes. Today was one of the most difficult days, the day he needed this phone call the most.

 

"I know baby boy,"

 

Oh, that hit the spot. Out of all the pet names Hoseok has bestowed upon him, baby boy was his favourite. Even now, it has him smiling ear to ear.

 

"I think I’m coming home next month. Apparently, I don't suck as much as I thought I did."  Hoseok says hesitantly "I wanted to surprise you but you sound so sad, you're breaking my heart babe."

 

Hyungwon is already on his knees in excitement and the room spins but that's the last thing on his mind, "Really?"

 

Hoseok laughter is music to his ears.

"Yeah. Just so you know. I've been a good boy, haven't touched myself once. So just be prepared to skip a few day, cause when I get back I'm fucking your fine ass till kingdom comes,"

 

A round of whistles and cheers resound and Hyungwon feels his ears burning in embarrassment as he chokes on his words.

 

How is he not already use to this?

 

"B b-abe," he stutter but thankfully the awkwardness is cut off by some rustling

 

“Aww sorry baby boy, we're almost there. You know I love you right?" Hoseok states rather than questions.

 

“You know I love you right,” Matt parrots him in the background.

 

"I love you too," Hyungwon says, the happiness now nullified by the thought of ending the call.

 

He wants to hear more of Hoseok's voice, even if it is Hoseok's drunk voice.

 

Hyungwon evidently hears the car come to a stop and he knows they should say bye but he really doesn't feel like. Back when they first started dating, Hoseok would stay up with him on the till he fell asleep. No farewell, just Hyungwon's heavy breathing to notify the other.

 

"Baby, I love you," He says again and Hyungwon is about to speak but Hoseok intervenes, his words moving at the speed of light, "You better be thinking of me when you touch yourself."

 

The call cuts and Hyungwon is left in the aftermath.

 

His boyfriends couldn't possibly end the call with an 'I love you'. No, that was too mainstream for Hoseok.

 

He reluctantly strips himself of his clothes, everything. It feels dirty and he just wants the cool of the sheets on his skin as he sleeps. Sliding underneath the duvet, he nestles himself comfortably, this time on Hoseok's side of the bed. It feels strange but for once, Hyungwon wants to be reminded of him. He wants to recall all of their mundane rituals, he wants to be as close as he can to him.

 

For all the things Hyungwon thought he had lost when Hoseok left, he soon learns it had been him that had turned a blind eye. He was too stubborn, too convinced that he knew what he was doing till he realises he's avoiding his own apartment. So, obviously, he had no idea what he was doing.

 

But he doesn't want to think about that now. No, rubbing his cheek against Hoseok's pillow, he sighs. He wonders how his boyfriend is doing on the other side. He would like to think he too was getting ready to bed but Hyungwon knew well enough that a drunk Hoseok was a hyper Hoseok and Hyper Hoseok doesn't see the point of sleeping. Curled up in the warmth of their memories, he knows he's still the love of Hoseok's life and nothing would change that. Everything is how it should be or how it was until Hyungwon went jumping into the big blue sea of assumptions. He knows now, even miles away, Hoseok still makes him feel like he's the centre of his boyfriend's universe. What more could he need?

 

A faint smile forms as the welcoming sleep washes over him.

 

 _Oh,_ "His coffee," He mumbles into the pillow. _That’s what I need_


	2. When i think of you

Morning comes slow enough and Hyungwon thinks he might skip the day in favour of enjoying his new found peace. The sun is bright but well concealed behind the blue curtain but the glow still envelops the room.

 

The first thing he thinks about is his boyfriend's call. It doesn't help because Hyungwon is painfully aroused, his member pitching a tent comfortably thanks to the lack of clothes.

                                  

It's been a while since this has happened. Mornings were opportunities to sleep and rarely was he aroused during this time without the help of a very mischievous athlete.

 

The same mischievous athlete that had planted all kinds of seed in his head last night.

 

Oh and those seeds grew pretty damn fast.

 

Sighing lazily, Hyungwon wraps his hand around his member. Stroking himself a few times as opens his legs out of habit.

 

Ain’t like I'm getting any D today.

 

He does it none the less, spreading himself wide, enjoying the coolness spreading through his inner thigh and ass cheeks.

 

He tosses the cover aside, completely revealing his naked form. Hoseok prefers it like this, no covers, lights on. He likes to see every inch Hyungwon as he takes him apart.

 

Hyungwon eyes soon travel to the blue jacket now hanging of the foot of the bed. Something strange sort of nostalgia comes over him and he reaches for it. Getting to on his knees, he slips the much too big jacket on and inhales the scent. It faintly smells of Hoseok but it's not enough for Hyungwon. He casually hops off the bed and starts to dig into the cupboard. His boner is painfully persisting but it doesn't hinder Hyungwon, Hoseok's put him through enough power play. Hyungwon's always being the one at his boyfriend's mercy.

 

He locates the new bottle of old spice and promptly spritzes some on the jacket. A moan bubbles in the back of his throat just at the scent, the familiarity sending shivers down his body.

 

Jumping on the bed, Hyungwon makes a point to spread himself out as wide as possible. His knees are bent and his feet are planted firmly on the bed. The cologne is so strong, Hyungwon almost feels like Hoseok is right there, hovering above him. It drives him wild and he can't wait any longer.

 

But even then too, he moves painfully slow, trying to mimic his boyfriend’s actions. Hoseok always took his sweet time. As impatient as Hyungwon was, he couldn’t rush it because even without him here, Hyungwon plays by his boyfriend's rules.

 

Smiling to himself, satisfied with cool air running through his parted thighs, grazing his intimate parts, he props himself up against the headboard. He watches his cock twitch, begging for his attention. He can only imagine all the embarrassingly things Hoseok said last night is to blamed for this.

 

It’s annoying because Hyungwon doesn’t want his own hand.

 

He lets the over sized jacket swallow his hand and proceeds to caress himself with the material. A series of moans escape his lip as his hands work to mimic’s Hoseok’s patterns The elder liked lavishing his body with wet kisses and little nips, down across his chest, the lower of his back, the inner of his thigh, the underside of his knee and finally resting on the area around his ankles. He lets the jacket material slide up his thigh, where he imagines Hoseok pressing kisses into skin. Then back down and finally wrapping around the base of his cock. It makes him weak and his imagination quickly handles things from there.

 

His eyes are clenched shut and Hoseok is all he can see, all he can smell and most importantly, all he can hear. He feels Hoseok breath on his cheeks, he sees him smirking down at him as he whispers lewd praises into Hyungwon’s ears.

 

it sets him off and Hyungwon‘s hand painfully strokes his member, it’s not enjoyable as far as dry friction goes but having Hoseok’s jacket wrapped around his member gives him some kind of perverse pleasure.

 

He craves to hear his lover, he wants Hoseok to tell him just how beautiful he is spread out, how he sucks that cock like a real slut.

The statement alone makes his mouth water and his head pushes back further into the headboard. Messily, he shakes off the sweater paws of his available hands and slides three n his digits into his mouth. His tongue lap at it in ecstasy, they really just need something to suck on, to savour the way he would savour is boyfriend’s dick. Sadly not even four fingers lodged in his mouth would suffice for the thickness of his boyfriend's cock. Moans are now muffled but Hyungwon feels himself becoming more desperate but his hand/jacket was just not doing it.

 

Which made sense, Hoseok usually made him cum by fucking him. More than once, Hyungwon had climaxed just by sucking his boyfriend off. He was weird like that. It’s been so long since he jacked off, he thinks he might not be doing it right but the thoughts of Hoseok fucking his mouth fuels him on.

Hastily he reaches for the side table and quickly grabs the lube. In all honesty, there’s only lube and condoms in that drawer . His finger never leave his mouth and the saliva is messily spilling from the corners of his lips. It doesn’t bother him, Hoseok likes watching him come undone, he likes running his leaking tip across Hyungwon’s face, leaving trails of precum as Hyungwon’s mouth hangs open patiently. It’s degrading but the younger loves it at the hands of his boyfriend.

 

The lid flips open and Hyungwon position the bottle just below his member, squeezing the content out. Tossing the bottle aside, he retracts the hand from his mouth and uses his own saliva mixed with lube to massage around his hole. It’s a tight fit, considering the position he’s in, the access is limited. The sensation of hot and cold finally has him squirming, his hips pushing forward. He can picture it so vividly, Hoseok leaning between his legs, his tongue flickering against his entrance, one hand massaging Hyungwon’s sac.

 

but never his cock.

 

No, Hoseok insisted that that was the easy way out. Sex was not an act to solely achieve a climax. No, to the athlete sex was appreciation and exploration. He wanted Hyungwon to succumb to him, fall apart under his touch, crave his pampering, and beg for his affection.

 

His slips down onto the bed, his fingers prodding around the sensitive hole and all Hyungwon wants is permission but he soon realises he was given just that last night.

“You better think of me when you touch yourself,” he had said.

Like he could think of anything else.

Tugging at his both lip, he prepares himself for his next move. There’s something thrilling about the act. He likes how Hoseok’s words linger on him, like they’re imprinted in his skin and his boyfriend enjoyment has become synonyms with his own.

Not so gently, he shoves two fingers in till his knuckles graze the entrance. The stretch is incredible and the wet burn has Hyungwon arching his back. The moan comes out empty and a choking sound follows as he arches his neck. His body feels like it’s been set alight, his nipples painfully hard. The flat of his foot slide against the bed but Hyungwon pulls them back up. One by one, he pulls them out before plunging back into the wet heat, this time deeper.

 The act is repeated, each time Hyungwon finds his body tingling with intense sensitivity, he pushes back, trying to rub himself against the bed. He wants to feel Hoseok’s warmth, wants to feel his boyfriend’s hard on pressing against his ass cheeks, letting it slip between the clefts.

A third and a fourth finger is added and he completely loses composure. Pushing against his fingers, his moans become sharper and loud and eventually he can only manage to formulate his boyfriend’s name.

“Hoseok,” he calls out desperately time and time again until his voice escapes him altogether.

All he can do is gasp as he buries his digits deeper into himself, his hips lifting each time. The haze gets stronger and Hyungwon’s available hand reaches down to grip onto his thigh. His digits sink into the supple flesh and he imagines it’s Hoseok holding him in place as he fucks Hyungwon. He feels the heat of his lover, the sensation of Hoseok’s flesh slapping against his own. The ordeal is so beautifully painful, he wants to cry. More important he wants his boyfriend perched between his legs, thrusting into him as he moans Hyungwon’s praise.

In the heat of the moment, his mind blurs the lines of reality and he can picture Hoseok fucking into him, his fingers moving in tandem with the motions of his boyfriend sweat glistened body. He smiles devilishly at Hyungwon and every fibre of his body is begging for this moment to never end. He wants more and more of his lover and his imagination indulges him a bit too much. Eyes sealed tightly, he continues to bath in Hoseok’s glory. The smile fades and Hyungwon’s gasps catches in his throat as he Hoseok leans in, pressing deeper and Hyungwon is ready to swallow his whole hand. Underneath the gaze, Hyungwon squirms and even in his imagination, Hoseok wants to push him to the very end.

He does the only thing he can do.

“Oh my god. Please Hoseok, I need you close, I need you,” He cries out as his body writhes against the sheets.

The tiniest smiles grace Hoseok’s lips and he ducks down to steal Hyungwon’s lips. So close, he can feel the smooth muscles press heavily against his lithe frame and Hoseok tongue prodding into his heated caves.

He’s almost there.

He can feel Hoseok’s tongue drags against his cheek, slipping to his neck where he sucks on, littering his lover with love bites. Love bites Hyungwon would proudly display.

Deep and coarse, Hoseok growls into his ear, ’I’m coming.’

With those final words, everything blanks and overpowering wave of sensitivity has him struggling to catch his breath as a series of moans spill from his lips. Little burst of electricity scatter across his body and he quickly becomes overwhelmed with the pleasure, his features twisting in ecstasy. It’s too much to handle after such a long time. The high has him suspended between dimensions. One where Hoseok has seeded deep within him and collapsed haphazardly on top of him while the other one is reality.

 The come down is abrupt and Hyungwon body lays limp as he blinks his eyes open. They’ve been shut so long, the warm glow hurts and he brings his arm up to shield them. He can smell himself on his finger and feel the warmth of his thick cum on his stomach. It’s been a while, so the substance is plentiful.

Sampling the stickie substance between his fingers, he feels himself pout.

What a waste.

He would much prefer the warm substance leaking out of him rather than being on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure why i write smut, i suck at it but the first chapter kinda felt too linear. so why not.

**Author's Note:**

> second entry. Apologies for errors and thank you for reading this awkward perverse mess.
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated.


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